heyys. daddy's in ICU now. quite serious. but i've decided. i can't just stay sad all the time. otherwise how to take care of my dad? hahas. yup. i'm all "hahas" again. i've found myself alrdy. gonna pick myself up bit by bit.
you tell me you're lost in ur own mixed up world. alone. helpless. HURT. you tell me that you're lost and gone. that you'll never be back. you tell me that ppl fill you w abundant lies. you tell me that you can't find yourself in that painful world you're in. that you don't know where to start.
why dont you let go of things you shouldnt hold on to? not letting go makes the pain worse.. you'll feel miserable and the pain? it'll never subside. no one can manipulate your life. its YOUR life, YOU make the choices. whts yours will eventually come back, if it isnt then you just hafta let go. you told me the world started turning on you. that everyone seemed to be running all and you can't hold on to anyone to help you. that you can't seem to hold on, that you spread too much faith and left too little to yourself.
you're so wrong. i'm sure they din mean to hurt ya. and you WILL hold on. dont make yourself so screwed and messed up. dont leave yourself to wallow in self pity. dont give up on yourself when others havent even give up on ya. you dont practice wht you preach. you know wht i mean. angels never leave you, aint dat wht you've been assuring me all along? you tell me nothing's arnd ya ; that your life's one big tornado that never ends. C'MON. who's the one that's shutting himself from the world out there? who's the one that's giving up on himself when others havent? who's the one that's refusing to budge and find a way out? the exit is just rite in front. its blocked by this rock. push it away. push the pain away. push the lies away. push all ur unhappiness away. push them all away. dont keep yourself away from ppl who are seraching ohso frantically for ya. dont leave yourself to misery just like that. giving up on yourself is wht a loser would do. you're not a loser, i know you arent. so PROVE IT TO ME. you tell me you cant find those ppl ; cant find wht's there. let go of all the pain and misery. you'll see. they're looking so hard for ya, they once thought they found ya but all they found was a distant footprint you left behind. why leave yourself to all these hate? why leave yourself in pain? you hold on to the pain, lies, hate, stuff you arent supposed to hold on to and wht do you get? i aint gonna say somwthing nice like life's gonna get better. life AINT gonna get better if you continue to be like that. you tell me your past no one knows ; that your life's wild like a crazy rollercoaster. that angels, fate and time compression arent helping you anymore. you tell me that everything aint rite. just AINT RITE. so? go MAKE IT RITE, DUDE. its ur life. only you haf the access to everything, the one who makes the last and most final decisions in ur life. not anyone else. not even ur angels. ur angels are there to HELP you complete ur decisions, to help you. and neither am i gonna say that things will turn for the better. they might ; might not. but one thing i know for sure.. wht i know is dat things will definitely pass, no matter wht.
and if i'm a sorceress like in ur dreams ; i'll definitely not be an evil one. i promise.